WHAT SHOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT YOUR PARTNER BEFORE GETTING MARRIED?
Ive think we all seen marriages work and fail.
Well Im trying to avoid that failed part whenever I get married in the future.
As a woman its something thats very important to me.
And Im wondering what are some things that should be asked and discussed throughout a relationship before marriage.
This is what I have, does anyone else know anything I might have missed?
Beliefs?(Couldn’t stand being married to a racist)
How they get along with their parents?
Smoker or non smoker?
Involved with Drugs?
Have any Illnesses?
How do they feel about children?
What kind of living arrangements would you enjoy?
Discussion on sexual history, orientation, and did they have history with the same sex
Enjoy animals? (Im a big pet lover)
Body and sexual short comings?
Do you watch porn, and how often?
How often do you enjoy sex?
You guys know of anything else?
Epona Willow, you must not have read my question. These are things I could think of, thats why I asked for YOUR opinions.
Xexx M. These are list of or qualifications nonsense your spouting about. Your telling me if the person had aids, and you wanted children and she didnt that you wouldn’t want to know about it until after marriage?
Some of you people are saying go in it just for love don’t worry about these things, well this is why we have so many broken marriages.People want to rush in for a puppy dog love phase that eventually wears off. They then later complain about these problems they don’t like about their spouse because they cant change them, even though these were here before marriage. But you were too “In love” to get to know about your partner.
Thank you!!! People need to wise up and see how the reality of marriage is, and I didnt mean that I would ask these question straight out, I meant that they should eventually be found out over a time getting to know the person. I expect no less from the person wanting to know these these about me, and I would gladly tell him. I think it would also give more base to see what we have in common.
This is why alot people wake up one day and wonder when they married a stranger. But this person has been here all along.
Life lesson, not a lecture. You raise some valid points, but you also don’t want the person to feel like they are being interviewed. Personally, I needed to know 3 pre key factors: APT, JOB and CAR…..He had all three, so the questions just rolled in after that. What are the three factors: APT (apartment, job and car). Your partner has to have the basics, to continue the relationship. You need to know they have a plan for themselves. Ok, let’s keep it simple…..You don’t want his biography (just yet) but you do want to know the basic facts things that are most important to you and what could ultimately impact you. The following five questions are your foundation but they are also not heavy nor too invasive.
1. Have you been married before? Purposely not open ended
2. Do you have any children? Purposely not open ended….You need specifics
3. Where do you currently work?
4. Do you have a car?
5. Do you have your own place?
I believe THESE are the most important questions for several reasons. If he’s been married and is now divorced…..There is something maybe on his part that created or caused the divorce (it is NEVER just one person’s fault, see what part he owns up to)…..If he’s got children, what can you expect from him financially and what obligations is he shouldering? And if he has kids, how many? 1 is ok, 2 is cutting it close, any more than that…..traffic jam and baby mama drama. And why so many kids and NOT married?……If he has transportation, then he can get himself from points A and B without your help or asking you for money for gas. If he has his own place, you learn alot about a man by the place he keeps and lives in. Why THESE particular items? Pictures are worth a thousand words. When dating you, he will ALWAYS say what he thinks you want to hear, this way you get to weed through the bull crap quicker, but these items are also FINANCIALLY and EMOTIONALLY more impactful. Reality is a TRUE eye opener. Take everything serious and take nothing for granted! You might see red flags before you start wearing those rose colored glasses…..
Subjects to discuss prior to engagment?
My Boyfriend and I are planning to marry within a couples years (we’re both graduating from college next spring). As we talk more about marriage and our future together, what are some important topics you wish you had discussed with your husband/wife before getting married? We’ve discussed his future education (he is going to grad school), children, church, finances, working/staying home, stuff like that. Since we’ve known each other for several years, it’s hard for me to come up with things because I think I know everything (which I don’t). What other things should we discuss before we get engaged?
Discuss your goals in life, what you ultimately want to do, and see if you both have goals that can be intertwined. Your careers, your beliefs, things you really disagree with like in politics and whatnot…discuss whether or not you both want children, if you can afford children, and if you have time for them…where you want to live, if you can afford a house…pets? Lol.
How about the in-laws? Those are usually hard to deal with!
Things you like to do in your spare time, maybe you could figure out some things to do together to keep your marriage good n strong.
Think about your little arguments with him…are they usually petty and get out of hand, or are they simple and easily resolved? That’s my husband and my biggest problem. We don’t argue productively, so sometimes we go overboard with dumb things.
The thing i’d worry about is whether or not you are ready for marriage…because once you tie the knot, it’s a commitment for life. Not against divorce, but if you think you two are not compatible, then maybe wait a few years before taking such a big step.
help! Im military girlfriend important question?
hello, and thank you for looking at my question to begin with. Okay, so i am indeed a military gf and my boyfriend is in the air force. Hes in boot camp right now. And here lately ive been real paranoid with myself. Bc Im 19 and im looking for a new job at the moment, and ive looked into college but to be honest i didnt want to do anything real serious yet. Like go to a 4 yr college bc my Bf and I have been discussing marriage maybe when he gets back in December. Some of my family is real supportive in telling me to go after what makes me happy, but some of my family would rather me go to college before discussing the idea of marriage. To be honest long distance relationships dont work in the military unless marriage is questioned. I want to marry him i love him, and yes love does happen at any age! I just kinda wanna know what my bf might be thinking with the whole thing we havnt talked much but thats jus bc hes busy, and i understand. I thought maybe i would just get a job til december and then see what happens with us? and please i dont wanna hear “you should go after your dreams before getting serious with a guy” bc i would rather us go after our dreams together bc thats what makes me happy thank you for reading all this and i cant wait to hear everyones advice.
Get an education. FIRST.
I f the relationship is meant to be it will survive you going to college and him being deployed or stationed out of the country where you couldn’t go anyway.
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